Sara Romanoski | Staff Writer

Serrena Werling | Illustrator

Schadenfreude – noun: satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune

While we all have them, only some of us are brave enough to share our most embarrassing moments with others. I talked with students and staff around Century to uncover some of the most mortifying stories that are sure to make you laugh, and also very thankful they didn’t happen to you!

“Once while on a cross country road trip with my friends, I needed to use the bathroom. The only problem was that we were in the middle of nowhere and just passed a sign that said the next rest stop was 30 miles away. I tried to wait, but I had terrible stomach pains from the greasy McDonald’s we had eaten that morning. We made it about 20 miles before I couldn’t wait any longer. My friend had to pull over on the freeway so I could go on the side of the road, with tons and tons of cars whizzing by. People were slowing down to look and laugh and the worst part was that we didn’t have any toilet paper. It was awful.”

“It’s recently come to my attention that at least three long-term acquaintances of mine think I’m a guy. I’m not a guy.”

“I was at my work, which is a local movie theater, just having fun with some of my best friends. It wasn’t very busy, which meant we could talk and goof around when the bosses weren’t around. We were all having popcorn flinging contests until finally a customer walked through the doors. Excited to actually have something to do, we all rushed to the front stand to help. The customer ordered a large popcorn first, so I walked to start making that by the popper. I filled the bucket up layer by layer with butter and freshly made popcorn until it was the best bucket I had ever done. As I rounded the corner to where my friends and the customer was waiting, I hit a patch of leaked butter on the floor and started to slip. I tried to gain balance as I danced along the puddle of butter, but lost the battle at the end. I fell and landed right on my butt as the entire large popcorn flew into the air and landed all around me. Everyone started laughing and in between gasps asking if I was okay. Let’s just say I never lived it down and I will forever be known as the ‘raining popcorn girl.’”

“I was wearing a white shirt and I spilled coffee all down the front of it. I had to save it because it was a nice shirt, but I was at school, so I was forced to improvise. I walked into a bathroom, took the shirt off, and washed it in one of the sinks while passersby glared at me. Afterward, I blow-dried it under the hand drier so I could wear it to my next class.”

“When I was younger, I once had to go on stage to receive an award. My grandma insisted that I wear nice shoes and a cute blue dress. Within five minutes of getting there, I took the shoes off and lost them. Then once I’d received the award (still barefoot), I didn’t realize there were stairs on the other side of the stage for me to go down. Instead, I took a running leap off center stage. The resulting midair Marilyn Monroe moment caused my grandma to ban me from ever wearing skirts again.”

“A few years ago, I was at my friend’s house but I started to feel sick, so she said I could stay at her place for the night. I had a temperature and was feeling super groggy. The next morning, her roommate’s boyfriend told me that I had come into their room last night and started digging through their dresser drawers. I apparently took everything out of one, threw up in it and went back to bed. I couldn’t believe I was sleepwalking so I went to check and sure enough there was vomit in her dresser drawers. I felt horrible!”

“One time I met my favorite singer at a meet and greet before her concert. I was so excited to talk to her and get our picture taken and I was trying to plan out what to say to her before I got to the front of the line. I thought I had it all figured out but when it was my turn, I went up to her and got so nervous that I started talking in a British accent for some reason but I have no idea why! I kept telling her how ‘lovely’ she was and the whole thing was just super awkward.”